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Evil Overlord Rule #783: When I’ve captured my adversary and he says, “Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?” I’ll say, “No.” and shoot him

“Evil Overlord Rule #5003: If the beautiful prince that I capture says “I’ll never marry you! Never, do you hear me, NEVER!”, I will say “Oh well” and kill him”

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“Evil Overlord Rule #187: I will not include a self-destruct button on machinery unless absolutely necessary. If I do, it will not be a large red button labelled, “Danger: Don’t Push”. In fact, the big red button will trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to press it.”